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Fimfiction account with orginal blog post…

Lets just jump into me whining as another fic with Sparity possibility got thrown out this morning, good fic too. No, I won't stop reading it, but I'm not pleased at the moment. Why did it get thrown out as Sparity you ask, good question! Spike you're to young for me. The age gap would never work.  

Are you fucking kidding me? Okay I'm take a breath here... Nope, fuck it. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Let's do some fact and math checking shall we. Pony ages are somewhat consistent with human ages. This is proven when Granny Smith says shes over 200 years old when explaining the founding of Ponyville to the CMC's class. Awesome, age range to work with checkety, check, check.

So now lets do something astounding, figure out Spike's age difference to Twilight. I know, GASP! Twilight being the smart adorkable mare that she is went to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns *Trumpets*! How does this help us, you ask. Two ways, one Twilight hatched Spike to gain admission, and two Twilight is afraid of Celestia sending her "back to" Magic kindergarten. Human age range means the Kindergarten age is 4-5. Admission test are done before the school year starts, and yes they do test young kids for gifted schools that young. I have a niece who passed with flying colors, she was 4. So that means Spike is roughly 4 years younger then Twilight cannonly! I know, I'm amazing, hold your applause.

Now lets remember the girls age and Spikes is unknown cannonly. We do know the girls are not all the same age and based on their filly versions I would place Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie as the 3 youngest most likely. But I suspect that the age gap between the youngest and oldest is at most 3 years. 3 years is awful close to 4 years isn't it?

But the show calls Spike a baby dragon. Okay, lets do this one now shall we. Dragons live longer than ponies. How much longer is unknown. However if they live at least 1000 years than according to a ratio 100 years is equivalent to being 10 in the eyes of a dragon. So Spike is still kid than. Wrong!. In the eyes of his species probably, but it appears that dragons grow in maturity on the same scale as ponies. 1 year is still 1 year of living and learning. Spike often acts with maturity we miss in the girls, even knowing a lesson before the rest of them learn this. However, Spike is still a character and male, and therefore flawed. He sometimes stumbles over his words, he doesn't always think things through, and he can be petty. Guess what, me too. Hell my vocabulary is huge, but I am the worst speller ever. If it wasn't for spell check, my editors, and Google search nothing I write would be readable.

To further my point Greed growth happens "because Spike is growing up" thank you Zecora. Basically, dragon puberty. And you thought ours was bad. Actually, I never really understood the issue myself. Further proof of this is R.D. gives him a dumb-bell to work out with. No one gives a kid a fucking dumb-bell! A teenager on the other hand is the perfect recipient.

Now lets zoom to a really scary place *ominous music* the real world. In this horrifying place relationships still exist. In high school seniors dating freshmen was not only not unheard of, it wasn't even uncommon. There's a 4 year difference right there at the same age group our little ponies and a dragon fall under. My old man is around 50 and he goes out with women in their early 30's. Notably, his long term success rate is lacking lately but still I'm proud. He'd probably have better luck looking in the 40s range though. Adult relations commonly have huge gaps i my point though. 4 years is actually a really small gap in the big picture.

So in conclusion Spike is in fact not, "to young," for any of the mane 6. Even a 7 year gap means nothing in the long run.

Now to reward anyone who got through that with something truly funny. My first pony story! It even includes sex, my subconscious knew something I didn't obviously.

It can be found in the comments on Happy Mother's Day by dlazerous. It also was based off of Curse of the Werepony and Luna the Matchmaker by the same dlazerous.

Spike: "Okay kids distract your mother while I go get her that thing I got her!"

Swettie Bell: "He didn't get her anything did he."

Garnet: "I think he was keeping Twilight and Celestia's gifts here maybe he kept moms there."

Swettie Bell"... My bad"

That moment at the pie family rock farm

Spike: "So girls were you able to craft that diamound into a heart."

Inky: "Sure did Spike."

Blinky "We even managed to get ahold of this display case for it."

Spike: "You two are the best. What do I owe you for the case?"

Inky "Don't worry about it Spike. Consider it a bons for letting us make this beautiful piece for her. We know she'll just love it."

Spike: "Thanks girls."

Later that night Spike got super special sex for being the greatest husband ever!

A/N: I AM THE KING! Also very awesome man. Man Spike is so fucked hes got eternity hes gona run out of ways to one up himself eventualy... probably when he carves her face into a mountain.

I AM THE KING! Seriously, look at all the raw unbridled talent. On my grave stone these words shall be engraved "Died in an orgy with six ladies, butt-naked, dripping with sweat all the way down his back, and wearing a shit-eating grin." And the scene shall be fully depicted in large carved marble as my grave marker. Fuck getting an angel or a cross. Plus I'm an atheist, no we aren't talking religion don't even start with me, so those things wouldn't make much sense anyways. This is way better.

Now for the story related stuff I wrote a decent chunk of the next chapter of Eternal yesterday I expect to finish today. Update is emanate today or tomorrow.

SaHSLL is still waiting on IC for chapter 2. The chapter 1 rework is coming along nicely. I have actually updated what is there all ready, but I'm not done, so I wouldn't suggest rereading it yet. I felt that A.J. was really fucked over as her reasons for being in love with Spike weren't very clearly displayed, and I fell into my Sparity tendencies and failed to make Spike's love seem even with both of them. So Rarity will still have some favor as he was his first love, but it will be much more evened out. I did this rather fantastically in Chapter 2 which is what made me go, "Fuck! I'm a dumb ass," when I looked back.

Weekend will be started near the end of this week chapter finish and post is unpredictable, sorry. I promise to make it worth the wait though!

Rarity's Punishment falls under side project. Notably, the first chunk of the next part of Telling Twilight is already written, but it was done with part 1 though.

Feel free to drop comments or questions below. I'm gonna go channel my rage into writing for the sake of saying fuck you to anyone who questions Spike's chances.
  • Drinking: Jim Bean: Devil's Cut


United States
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kmathel94 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist
Wow its cool seeing you on Deviant as well as FimFiction!
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Path0of0cloud Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014
Taken care of.
jewel-grim Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013
hi dud
Snivywxy Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013
Hi it's me Snivypony. I forgot my password and tried to reset it but the Email never came. Can you help me with this?
Path0of0cloud Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
On DA or Fimfiction?
Snivywxy Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013
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